Author: Rossy Gil

The truth about postpartum depression and how it doesn’t end a year after birth.

I had a very traumatic pregnancy. I took forever to dilate, ended up having a C-section, the anesthesia wore off while I was being stitched and I couldn’t hug my baby because we both had a fever. I was defeated. Somehow, that was the easiest part. Postpartum depression kicked my ass. It didn’t last a year, it lasted three. I called my doctor at the 8 week mark and told him I was really sad and he told me “it’s too late for it to be postpartum depression, I can’t help you. Just try to be happy.” Whatever. So here I was on a mission to beat PPD. It was fucking me up though. I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know how to properly connect with my son. I couldn’t love this new version of me. I became so depressed that I felt the only way out of that was to die. It sounds so dramatic but seriously, I did not see any way out of that pain. I had lost all the weight pretty quickly but then, I gained it all back. I lost all my friends cause naturally, nobody really wants to be your friend anymore when you have responsibilities and shit. We moved to Florida and I thought sunshine would make it better. It didn’t. It made it worse.

the untold stories of my hero

My mom’s mom had her before her life started. She was young and felt she still had a whole life ahead of her and she couldn’t be a mom. She went to Santo Domingo to dance on television and then moved to Puerto Rico to dance full time. My mom was raised by her father and his wife, the woman I call grandma. She was never angry with her. My mom understood that rather than be a bad mother she chose to live her life. She never hated her for it, she just made sure that when it was time to be a mom herself, she would stay extra close to her kids. 

Seeing potential and being let down isn’t just something that happens with people. It’s possible to see the best in something and have it completely destroy you when it turns out it’s not how things were. In August I began training for what was the worst job of my life. It wasn’t really a job, it was really more of a cult. No seriously, hear me out.This company has a team of people who go around different states, opening up restaurants, teaching you the ins & outs only to throw you in a venue to realize nothing you were taught matters… then they just leave, never to be heard from again. They just throw you on stage (because it’s essentially a night club themed restaurant) and when you don’t perform like a perfect puppet they dispose of you. Much like Mars 2112 and the T-rex Cafe, my last job was also a themed restaurant. The theme,night club.They have a DJ every night, they have shot shows (or at least they were supposed to but the GM was too busy being bad at her job to remember to do them), they dim the lights, they have security guards and a flower wall for the fire pics… a club. The servers were trained to never mess up their lines. They would have to go thru an audition before they were allowed to perform, I mean serve tables. For 8 weeks we were taught how to be perfect actors for the show of a lifetime. When you attempted to just be yourself, you were shunned, disliked, hours cut, fired even. The managers (not all, let me be clear) had no lives other than that restaurant and they demanded that everyone else would be the same. No seriously, this man bought a chain for 30k with the business name on it because his job was the only thing that made him cool. Okay i’m getting off track, let me start you from the beginning.

The end of an era.

Romyboattt was special. She came about when I was 19 years old. I was a loser in high school and I refused to let my twenties be the same. I was so tired of being bullied, I promised myself life after school would be different and it was. I was introduced to a life and I never looked back. I made the best friends, I made the greatest memories. Some night were better than others but every night was one to remember. Everyone liked Romyboattt, I loved her. I was finally who I wanted to be. It wasn’t hard to keep up with that lie of a life. None of my new friends knew Rossy, they only knew Romyboattt. This blog is different than the others, it’s a goodbye letter. This one is about Romyboattt. Her amazing life that should have been a TV show. One of my greatest creations in life was her and I hope you loved Romyboattt as much as I did.

Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern. You ever realize that when it’s colder out, you get into a funk that you can’t seem to get out of until the weather starts getting warmer? Yeah, thats it. its SAD. Less sunlight and shorter days really do a number on us. Being cold doesn’t seem to help either. It doesn’t happen to everyone and some get it much worse than most but it happens. So, lets get ready for it. The weather is changing, and as pretty as those pumpkin patches are, shit’s about to get real. It’s about to get dark at 5pm, it’s about to get really cold and were about to get really sad. I can’t tell you what works for you but these are 5 things that could possibly make this winter a little more bearable.

I wrote a book last year. It’s really good. I’ve never really talked about it. I kinda just published it and that was that, but people had a lot of questions. I could just make you go buy it so I could pay my bills and get famous, but the book was so much more than that. It was a love letter to myself. It was a love letter to everyone else who was struggling. What started as a suicide note to my loved ones at the lowest point in my life, ended as a promise that things would be okay. I wrote the book in real time. Everything I wrote that I was feeling, I was feeling while I was writing it. The traumas were past tense, but the feelings of nothingness and sadness were very present while I was writing. I think that’s why after I wrote it, I never talked about it again. It ended very wavy and I wanted to leave it at that. I didn’t want people to know I was still sad. I wanted to force healing so I could be a success story. I’m not as sad as I was when I wrote the book, but i’m still sad. This blog is a spin-off, an update on my life since I wrote and published the world famous, New York Times best selling book ( i’m manifesting shhh)

I partied a lot in my 20s. No seriously, I think the only reason I stopped was because I got pregnant. I loved dancing and having fun with my friends. It was like a getaway, no matter how bad the week was, I was always looking forward to the weekend to have fun. Actually, i’m lying I was outside weekdays too. So, you can trust me here. The Dj makes the party. I know that the company you are with and what you’re drinking helps, but bad music will ruin the best of parties. You can be drinking 1942 with the Kardashians and if the DJ sucks, it won’t be a good time. The music can make or break the experience. I think DJs don’t get enough credit. In the clubs, the promoters get all the credit. But think about it, how come some parties pack out more depending on who the DJ on the flyer is. On a road trip, what makes the drive the most fun? The music. At home on Saturday, isn’t cleaning more tolerable with good music playing? If you’re having a bad day, can your favorite song make you smile? Exactly. Imagine being one person having to please thousands? That’s a lot of work. I’m not saying promoters aren’t good at their job but lets be serious, half the work is done if they book the right DJs. I’m only going to do 4 reasons I think Djs are the best part of the party cause honestly I shouldn’t even have to do more than one.

Making friends as an adult is hard. When we’re young, friends are forced on us. We’re in a classroom 7 hours a day with the same people. You build friendships easily. We also don’t have any responsibilities. As grown ups, we have kids, jobs, partners, so many other things that we have to make time for that friends seem to always take the back seat. I had a lot of friends back home in NYC. I went clubbing a lot and I met the friends of my friends and built forever friendships, until I had a baby, but that’s another blog for another time. I always tell my fiance that it’s crazy that I now live in a city where nobody knows how cool I used to be. I was basically a celebrity! LOL. The two years I lived in Florida, I made no friends. The few times I did go out were with friends I already had from NYC. I wanted my time in Charlotte to be different. I wanted a life outside of just being a mom and a wife. I love both roles, but I didn’t want that to be the only thing that defined me. People seemed nicer here. I met a few girls at work that I thought would be my forever friends here but they turned out to be the fakest bitches so I had to try again. I heard of an event where a bunch of people went to a spot by themselves to make friends. I have had social anxiety since becoming a mom and the thought of showing up anywhere by myself to talk to strangers and make friends induced panic attacks for weeks. I did it anyways. I got dressed, wore an outfit outside my comfort zone and told my fiance to drive me because if I drove myself I probably would’ve just stayed in the car. I got there and it was sooooo much fun I don’t know why was I even nervous. In true romyboattt fashion, here are 5 things I learned from being brave and showing up to CLT Social Club.

Everyone knows I have depression and anxiety. It’s literally a personality trait at this point. I’ve built my entire brand off my mental health. I refused to take medication just because i’ve seen how it zombifies the people in my life who have been on medication. However, I was really tired of being that way all the time. I was in a new city and started a new job. I wanted to be able to enjoy all the changes without the distraction of wanting to die every single day. Someone in my family suggested psychedelic therapy. In short, I take the drug with a therapist and unpack whatever is wrong with me. I partied alot in my 20s, but I was never the take random drugs and party type of girl. I was too scared. It looked fun as fuck on TV but it was still a No for me. I figured that if it didn’t work, at least I get to finally try the drugs in a safe environment. I agreed. I did MDMA (Molly) in my first session and Shrooms in my second session. 6 weeks in between. I feel better. Am I completely healed? No. Did I gain enough clarity to know what my following steps can be to live a more intentional and healthy lifestyle?Absolutely. It changed my life for the better. I see why they don’t want this stuff on the market. It’s powerful what it does to your mind. Since I only took 2, I really can’t do my usual 5 bullet points in true romyboattt fashion. But I will be as descriptive as possible to the waviest trips I have ever been on.

Getting fired is tough. No matter how good you thought you were at your job, somebody else didn’t feel the same. In November 2022, I moved to Charlotte, NC. After being a stay at home mom for 3 years, I was ready to go back to work and get as far away from home as possible. I thought that my mental health would suddenly flourish if I got out of the house long enough. It did, for some time. I got a job that I really liked. It came with coworkers that were really great to be around. A management team that was to die for. It was perfect. I got a promotion and a raise within a month. It was amazing. I was right. Getting out of the house solved everything. I became obsessed with working. I knew I was a good mom, I knew I was a good wife, I just needed something to make me feel I was good enough for me. I worked really hard, I gave that job my all. I started calling my coworkers. “friends”. I was going above and beyond, so much so that my son and my partner were suffering because of it. I would go into work 2 hours before my shift, leave hours after my shift. I did everything that was asked of me. My job was my number one. The paycheck was really nice, so that was a plus. I learned very quickly the consequences of doing too much. I understood the memes about “that job don’t love you back”. I stood up for people who would’ve never done the same for me. And in the end, I got fired because someone “didn’t like me”. Stop, don’t feel bad for me. I strongly believe that getting fired, was the best thing that ever happened to me. Being released from a toxic workplace that you would have refused to leave otherwise is a blessing. I came to Charlotte to write. I wanted to start my second book, I wanted to network and meet people that could help me accomplish my goals and instead I got caught up and gave a job what I should have been giving my family and my goals. So what now huh? Well, in true Romyboattt fashion, here are 5 reasons why you should work your little shift, go home, and do nothing more.